Oh man brother. Have I been where you are? Yeah. You allowed me to look back at my early recovery, at my frustrations and fears when it was just beginning. It's hard to reflect back on someone that feels like something else. The monster that sits in the passenger seat it still there, sometimes awake, nipping at my periphery, but its not so scary any more. I think your monster still has a hand on the wheel and it's still filling your rear-view mirror with fog. Don't worry Sam, all monsters have to sleep eventually. Do you really think your family doesn't "get it"? OR are you just realizing the size of the tidal wave you're at the foot of? Are you suddenly realizing that you are in over your head?
It'd be insincere to say you taught me anything I didn't already know. You aren't ready to fully embrace your recovery, and I've already stepped beyond that challenge. But you reminded me that I'm not alone, you reminded me I'm not the first, and sadly, not the last. You and I shared words. You reminded me that my emotions are not a death sentence; that life is worth living in its fullest color and darkest shadows. Most importantly, you allowed me to spread a message of hope; and some day, asking for help won't be so hard.
All my best to you on your adventures. I won't say good luck, but I will say, work hard.
p.s. it works if you work it so work it you're worth it.